Deerington Inbox

[survivalthroughhate]

"This is Maul. State your business."

Voice | Video | Text | Action

Comments

[survivalthroughhate]

Something like that.

[Now he's just flat-out lying. No way was he destroying such a powerful text. There was all sorts of ways it could come in handy later on.]

While I understand holding a grudge over the fact he killed you, it was an accident from my understanding.

[laminae]

dang ok that's vague
i know Martin made a big deal about how dangerous those books are and i get it
but i'm still hoping that's your way of saying you saved it instead
just because it's dangerous doesn't mean it isn't useful

i don't care that he killed me
that was just some stupid mistakes we both made
after it happened all he did was tell people he cared about
he didn't even try to find anyone i care about
he even went and told someone i hate
and then lied to me about it to me
pretty sure we were never friends to begin with

[survivalthroughhate]

Let us simply state I have much experience with wielding dark forces and leave it at that.

[If there was anyone well-suited to holding onto a book of doom in town, it was Maul, given how steeped in the Dark Side he was. Just how long he'd hold onto them without using them was another thing entirely.

He sighs upon reading the second message. He really shouldn't get involved in a bunch of teenage drama but he can't help it now. He's got an emotional investment in these two and their high school bullshit shenanigans.]

May I speak to you bluntly and plainly for a moment?

[laminae]

you're so cool

[Ugh okay he feels like he's dying and total trash but that isn't stopping him from being completely tactless. He's sorely he was wishing he was as cool as Maul right now. Maul wouldn't have died or had a fight with someone he cares about.]

yeah sure
go for it

[survivalthroughhate]

[It's a good thing someone around here thinks so highly of him. Frankly, Maul pretends to have it all together while on the inside he's screaming at the top of his lungs. But yes, he is and always will be objectively cool.]

You're both young and stupid. The chances of making mistakes are high at that age, which it sounds like were definitely done on both sides here. But definitely more on his from the sound of things.

I do not possess many friends, but if I did, I'd want them to react to my death the way I saw him sitting by your dead body when I first arrived there. You cannot fake raw emotion like that.

So I would say give him another chance.

[laminae]

[He isn't really going to deny he's made mistakes... he's be stupid if he did, because make mistakes is all he ever does. And he knows Varian has made mistakes, too.

But he isn't sure about the rest of that.]

why should i
i don't know what you saw, but he made it clear to me he doesn't care
he cares about Ruby
not me

[survivalthroughhate]

I'm afraid I'll need more details than that to understand what happened.

[How did Ruby now figure into all of this?]

[laminae]

apparently after he called you he went straight to Ruby and told her what happened
i hate her
he knows i hate her
and he went and told her anyways
he didn't even try finding anyone i care about to tell them what happened, all he did was tell her

that's all he ever does
when i get too hard to deal with he turns around and goes straight to her
how is that friendship?

[survivalthroughhate]

[Oh boy. He really is too old to be dealing with this high school bullshit. Yet here he is, somehow getting sucked into them. Apparently that's what happens when you become a mentor to a bunch of weird teens.]

People can be remarkably selfish and self-centered even at the best of times. The fact he thought only of himself and has done that frequently doesn't speak to a lack of caring about you. It speaks of an abundance of fear.

[laminae]

[He's not buying that. Sure, there are plenty of things to be afraid of in Deerington, but he doesn't see how that connects to Ruby.]

you've got to be kidding me
what's he afraid of, he's got a perfect friend with her
both of them like to remind me of that

[survivalthroughhate]

Varian is someone who is overly-concerned with how people view him. He fears judgment and condemnation when he screws up. So when he killed you, even though it was an accident, he was likely scared of what people would think of him. They'd see him as some sort of monster, at least in his own mind. Why do you think his first thought was to call me instead of anyone else?

[Maul was the last person to condemn Varian for his actions. Not after he'd killed just about everything that walked or crawled at one point in the galaxy.]

While I know Ruby less well then the two of you, I can say that she's a fighter. She represents a safe element for him. When people are scared, they turn to what they see as familiar.

[laminae]

[He... understands what it's like being scared of being judged. He's the same way with some of his parental figures, Kurt and OA in particular. Heck, Varian is even aware of this when it comes to Kurt.]

i don't know
he said he called you to help, i didn't really ask him why he called you specifically

[... Maybe he should have.]

but he still had a whole week to get over his fear!
he knows i have people here i care about
he left them in the dark

and this isn't even the first time he's ignored me for her
last time i wasn't even dead

[survivalthroughhate]

I hold a lack of judgment when it comes to killing whether accidental or deliberate. Those on the Dark Side can't afford righteous judgments on such things.

I can't claim to know all of his motivations. I can only read surface thoughts and emotions unless I'm deliberately delving deeper.

[That was the first time Maul had admitted to anyone in Deerington of his telepathic abilities. But he doesn't give much time for contemplation as he goes on.]

How much did you actually talk to him about this? Or did you merely want to yell and hurt him for what he did?

[laminae]

... really?

[Oh, that isn't even the focus of this conversation, but that's hitting him hard. Deliberately killing people - or trying to - has been a problem for Fern since before he got here. He knows it makes him a monster but he can't stop, and he knows people would judge him if they found out. The only exception so far have been Will Graham and Varian, because they're monsters like he is.

He also notices the heavy implication behind surface thoughts and reading that stirs something deep within him. He'd like to ask more, and he nearly does, but Varian is the focus here. He can ask about telepathy later.]

i

uh

mostly just yelled at him over texts
i felt really hurt
and i wanted to make him feel the same way

[survivalthroughhate]

Fern, I have killed men, women, and children. I've killed just about every sentient species that walks, crawls, or breathes in the galaxy. So to judge at this point in my life would make me a great hypocrite.

[There's two things there worth noting. One, of course, is his admittance of murder. He's never tried to hide what he is since he came to Deerington but neither has he bragged about to anyone except maybe Reaper, and that man is as much a monster as he is.

The other is his pointed use of Fern's name. Maul almost never uses anyone's name if he can help it, a bit of disconnect in his mind to depersonalize them. The moments he does is means he's got a very good reason to do so.]


Alright, now that your temper has cooled, I will give you a sound piece of advice. Get off this damn device and go speak with him in person. Emotions get lost over texts. You can't properly talk with someone that way.

[laminae]

[Well, that's a whole pile of relevant information, and not just the confirmation that Maul has killed people before. There's no getting around it, Maul is evil.

Which... does not bother Fern nearly as much as it should. For all his bluster about fighting evil and being a knight he hasn't been any good at avoiding the evil train himself, and here's someone he likes and respects going and openly admitting it while in the middle of giving him relationship advice.

He really isn't sure if his next texts are wise, but he sends them anyways.]

i've killed people before
there are people here i want to kill
doing it makes me feel good
even though i know people would hate me if they knew that

[People being accepting of that side of him are few and far between. He knows that, so it feels good to get that out. Weirdly enough, that felt easier to type out than this whole Varian mess. Talking to Varian in person seems terrifying compared to killing someone, honestly.]

i'll
think about it

i wasn't joking about my body falling apart
i am pretty sure if i try walking into town that's going to happen

[survivalthroughhate]

I was taught the Dark Side of the Force. It gives one a different perspective on what is believed and can be accomplished by killing. Killing is giving into your emotions and passions to a point where you've decided the way to reach your goal is to take a life. This isn't always necessarily a bad thing.

[But Maul has a very skewed way of thinking given the way he grew up under Sidious' tutelage. Death, to him, is just as easy to commit as it is to breathe.]

Alright. You can wait. But by the next time you are well enough to spare, I will expect to hear that you have made an attempt at communicating with him again. Understand?

[Stern grumpy alien uncle mode has been activated and you will obey, child.]

[laminae]

[That isn't a philosophy he's ever heard before, but it... sounds right. Really, really right.

(Rather, the eldritch portion of his mind is finding all of this very agreeable. Emotions are powerful things, and in its case, necessary for power. Its very existence was even tied to them at one point. Combine that with it having the nature of a literal weapon and it can understand the connection Maul is making between violence and emotion on a deeply visceral level.)

Despite the exhaustion and nausea from having been dead and fought with Varian, Fern feels a little better when he reads that.]

pretty sure most people wouldn't agree with you
but i get it
this is going to sound cheesy but i'm too tired to care
thanks
it's less lonely around here knowing someone else gets it

[Which also means he's in a less combative mindset for his next message.]

yes sir
i'll probably fail at talking to him
but i'll try

[The thought is terrifying, but what scares him more is never talking to Varian again.]

[survivalthroughhate]

There are few who will. So we must stick together.

[He's only encountered a few in Deerington who have the same mindset as he does. Reaper. Rose. Now Fern. It's not a long list but it does help make one feel less lonely as the boy says.]

Alright. I shall hope for the best for you two. Get some rest now or photosynthesize or whatever it is you do to regain your strength.

[laminae]

right
thanks